The Time That Never Was
by LoverGurrl411
Summary: Steve and Tony finally air out the core of their anger and pain when Tony goes to the compound in Endgame. :: "You were supposed to love me," Tony spat harshly. One-shot.


Disclaimer - I own nothing.

A.N. - Hey guys! So, I have no idea where this came from, but Steve and Tony are genuinely my brotp, and somewhere in my soul I kinda lowkey ship them and would've loved to see them address (even subtly) some of that tension (that may or may not have been sexual). Anywho, this is completely unbeta'd and written on my phone so sorry fo any mistakes! Hope everyone enjoys!

The Time That never Was

by LoverGurrl411

Steve didn't know what to say as he stood in front of Tony. He'd heard that Tony had married Pepper, heard they'd had a kid--

I lost the kid.

We lost, and you weren't there.

\--Steve had followed Tony's life from afar, with a feigned disinterest that Natasha always seemed to see through. But now that he was in front of him, pleas for a better future, a second chance, on his lips...

He was talking about more than the others could understand.

"I've got my second chance right here" Tony said firmly. But Steve heard what he hadn't said-- I don't forgive you.

No trust. Liar.

Steve understood, even though he didn't want to, so he left. He walked away, and it felt too much like Siberia. Too much like being in the cold, shield-less, heart burning with each step.

But time was nothing and seamlessly fleeting and suddenly Tony was in front of him again holding his sheild, being sassy, smirking like no time had passed at all between them.

How was he supposed to say sorry? How was Steve supposed to explain what he didn't really understand?

"Turns out resentment is corosive and I hate it" Tony said flippantly. But there was a glint in his eyes that spoke volumes.

"Me too," Steve said somberly.

They needed this. They'd spent so long bending that they hadn't realized that they weren't broken. Not really. Not ever possible because they were bonded in a way that Steve wished he would have realized sooner was okay.

Tony looked away from the intensity of Steve's gaze for a moment.

Tony took a small breath and refocused his gaze unflinchingly on Steve.

"We got a shot at getting these stones but I gotta tell you my priorities. Bring back what we lost--I hope--yes. Keep what I found? I have to, at all costs." Tony took a second to let the truth of his words sink in. Then he shrugged casually and stepped closer. "And maybe not die trying."

Steve wanted to shake his hand, and maybe in a different timeline, a different universe he would have. He would have let the feelings burning inside of him bury themselves with a tight smile.

But they were bonded.

No trust. Liar.

He needed to redeem himself, needed to--

"I'm sorry, Tony," Steve blurted out without thought.

"We're moving on, Cap," Tony said steely though he looked away. "Let it go."

"How are we supposed to if we don't talk about it? Any of it?"

Tony sighed harshly and took off his glasses in a fit of sudden fury. "Even when I try to bury the past you just can't be reasonable, can you?!"

"I'm not trying to be difficult--"

"You don't know what the word easy or simple means, Steve. So don't bother. We're not doing this."

Steve wanted to do as he said. It was a strange sensation, like being suffocated from within as chains sank into his tendons. He was fighting a destiny that said they needed to leave it all unsaid.

But Steve was nothing if not a man who scoffed at destinies. A man out of everything except a maddening desire to push forward.

"I'm sorry," he repeated vehemently. "I know I failed you--"

"You were supposed to love me," Tony spat harshly.

But now that it was between them, out loud, he couldn't take it back and Steve didn't want him to. He was tired of pretending.

"I know," Steve said quietly. "I just--I really am a man out of time, and that's harder in some ways than others. Being raised in the 30's and 40's, building my identity as a soldier--it made me blind to a lot of things. It was hard for me to understood a lot of things. And you were one of those things. I didn't know what loving you looked like. I'm sorry for that."

Tony leaned against the car, taking in Steve's ugly truth. Steve was bare under his gaze, giving all he had to give in that moment.

"Loving me wasn't science, Steve," Tony shook his head, confused. The hurt he'd clearly tried to bury rose to the surface. "You just needed to be there. Care. Never give up. And the thing that's worse is that you didn't even hesitate. You just left. You left me."

You left me.

You weren't there.

It all meshed together in this ball of regrets that sat in the middle of Steve's stomach.

"You didn't need me to be happy though," Steve looked away towards the clouds in the sky. It was easier than seeing the hurt and past swirling in Tony's eyes. "You got married, had a family. You found someone who loves you. Who loved you before we ever met. You never needed me--Bucky did."

"But I wanted you," Tony said simply. Steve understood the impulse, to selfishly covet. He understood because he'd spent more time than he cared to admit looking at tabloid pictures of Pepper and Tony before they moved out of the city.

"I wanted you," Tony repeated, and it punched a whole through Steve's chest.

I wanted you.

You were supposed to love me.

Tony closed the gap and let his lips brush Steve's. It was soft, but it was like a tidal wave had been broken inside of Steve. Desire crashed into him, and his arms buldged with the restraint it took to keep them from wrapping around Tony.

"Just once," Tony whispered against Steve's lips desperately. "Please."

And just like the last time Steve saw Tony, he heard what he didn't say. Just once, let go.

Please, kiss me back.

It was one moment in a lifetime where stars swirled behind Steve's eyes as he saw a future they could've had all the while he groaned against Tony's lips and wrapped his arms like vices around him.

Holding Tony was a lot like holding hope throughout the last fives years, and the kiss tasted of desire and tears because hope was devastating when it was so futile.

They were two boats caught in a storm in the middle of the ocean with nothing but the eternal feeling of freedom among the crashes of the waves sustaining them, reminding them that not all was lost--but soon. Soon.

And the moment was over. Their lips were branded with the taste of the other, and Steve wished he really could turn back time.

Tony turned to the forgotten shield, and held it out to Steve.

I forgive you.

I did find someone who loves me.

Keep what I found? I have to, at all costs.

I'm sorry, too.

The silence was heavy with promises that they never got to make, but that one kiss was enough to remind Steve why he was fighting.

We'll lose.

We'll do that together, too.

Steve smiled, though his eyes still burned. He took the shield.

And time moved forward, and as he fought with himself and Alternate Captain America was dumbfounded at hearing that bucky was still alive, Steve paused.

Maybe in another universe, another timeline, he could be brave and see.

"Love him," Steve said urgently. He knew he was out of time.

"What? Who? Bucky?"

"Tony," Steve stressed. He looked into the mirror of his own eyes and wondered if this was how Tony had always seen him--wide eyed, a little lost. "It's okay. To love him. To let go sometimes."

"Wha--"

Steve knocked him out, knowing he had to escape. He'd done all he could; he prayed it was enough.

He hoped that at least some where in the galaxy, through time and space, there was a Steve living happily ever after with Tony.

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So, what do you guys think? Liked it? Hated it? Let me know and Review! *Reviews are love*


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